How to wean a teenager from a computer? Dependence on computer games (gambling)

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With regard to children and adolescents, everything is in the hands of their parents. Let's put it this way: it is necessary to worry and control the time spent by the child at the computer. Increasingly, parents are asking how to wean a teenager from a computer. We cannot pack up and take our child to some wilderness where there is no computer and the Internet. How to distract a teenager from the computer in this case?

Problem computer addiction Our children are breaking all records today. The information that the child receives from the monitor screen is also subject to control. For a preschooler, the time allowed for playing at a computer is limited to 15 minutes (without a break). Monitor time” (as well as TV) – only in strictly metered “portions”. Remove the computer and get it only at a strictly defined time by mom. Put restrictions on access to "adult" sites, and control games for their benefit to the child.

No computer can replace communication with mom and dad. Despite the work, employment, problems and undercooked borscht - be close to the child. Play with your child. Of course, in a strictly allotted time, but together. Let the child take part in this. Leave the modem to yourself, but turn it on only at times when the child is busy with his own business. Thirdly, it is impossible to distract a child in adolescence with a designer and a game of snowballs.

Sports, sections, etc. The pleasure that a child receives from sports, dancing and other outdoor activities cannot be compared with the joy of the next "like" or "game" in shooting games.

The child is embarrassed to communicate real life? In the virtual world, is he a brave superhero? Become your child's friend. At this age, an orderly tone and a belt are not helpers. Now the child needs a friend. Listen to your child and participate in his life. Be interested in his desires and problems - it is in them that you will find all the answers to the question "how to distract ...".

How to wean a teenager from a computer?

Proceed from what your child lacks, from what exactly he runs to the Internet. Now is the time to immerse yourself deeply and completely in the area of ​​​​interest that has probably already settled in the child’s head. If the child has already found himself, but does not have the opportunity to develop in the chosen direction, give him this opportunity. How do you deal with computer addiction in a child? In my opinion, it is absolutely forbidden to give a computer before school.

If everyone in the family sits at computers, then the child will climb there. All the rest of the free time to keep the child busy. The only way to distract a child is not to leave him time on the PC. After school - in the section.

I'm already silent about the books that children read in abbreviated Internet versions. Teach them to use only in the most extreme cases, and ban games and social networks altogether. That's why I treat children with such anger - they don't give anything, they just take money in wild amounts. The father is working with the child. Modern parents found themselves in a difficult situation: an absolute misunderstanding of the world in which modern teenagers live was added to the standard problem of “fathers and children”.

Computer in the life of a teenager

However, if you see your child staring at the screen all the time, it starts to get really scary. Let's see why today's teenagers spend so much time at the computer. Yesterday's child moves away from parents, becoming more and more independent. It is still too early for a teenager to live without parents, so frequent meetings with friends and / or escape into virtual reality become a way out.

Teenagers who stand out from the crowd get the opportunity to find friends and like-minded people. Communication among modern teenagers has moved to another level - so, maybe parents should not even worry? A teenager is not yet an adult, and it is the parents who are responsible for his health. You must measure the amount of screen time in your child's life. In this case, parents should understand the reasons that pushed the teenager into the screen world and take measures to “pull” him out of there.

How to wean a teenager from a computer - important tips for parents to prevent computer addiction in children

On the Internet, a teenager who has problems with social adaptation gets the opportunity to become different, open up, find friends and even love. And in this regard, everything is obvious - the eyes of modern schoolchildren adapt to looking at a flickering picture at close range.

Myopia is getting younger every year, and it is foolish to deny the relationship of this fact with the popularization of computers, phones and tablets. A computer, with all the complexity of its device, is a machine. No game, no communication in social networks can convey all the subtleties inherent in the versatility of the world and the personality of a person. There is a robotization of thinking, emotions, compassion, humanity are leaving - something that has always been inherent in children before. Therefore, in my opinion, for developing child computer is bad.

A teenager is sitting at a computer (laptop or tablet) - isn't it a familiar and even banal picture? All of the above require money, but there is no money. There is only physically on the computer and on the Internet. Yes, you will spend a lot of time, but the child will sit over the canvas together with the computer, and there is no need to talk about the benefits of this event.

Hello! My name is Julia. I will tell you about how I saved my, in general, adult son Ilya from computer and gambling addiction. I hope that many will agree with the presented approach to get rid of this type of addiction and, perhaps, even adopt it.

It was four years ago, Ilya was in his fourth year at the institute, he was then 21 years old. Ilya had difficulties with his studies: constant tails in the session, skipping classes, calling home from the dean's office ... He spent all his time either sitting on the Internet or playing countless online games. At some point, I realized that this could no longer continue: it would end, firstly, with expulsion, and secondly, with the complete degradation of the son’s personality.

Through one of my friends, I came across a psychologist named Svetlana: a rather energetic young woman. We easily found a common language with her, and she, after listening to my problem, offered me a program, the operation of which I will describe below.

Once I invited Svetlana home. She followed Ilya into the room, where he, as usual, played some kind of game on the computer, while listening to music on headphones. He did not even notice an unfamiliar woman in his room until she touched his shoulder (at that time I remained outside the door, listening to their conversation).

The son expressed fear and surprise, asking Svetlana who she, in fact, was, and how she got into his room?
- You can call me Aunt Sveta. - said the psychologist with a smile, - I'm here to help you solve your computer problems.
- I don't have any problems! Ilya snapped.
- You're wrong...
Svetlana asked my son a few simple questions, each of which, however, caused him difficulties. She asked how much time a day he spends on the computer, whether he is doing well with his studies, how often he communicates with friends, how he has relationships with the opposite sex.
While maintaining a friendly tone of dialogue, Svetlana nevertheless managed to embarrass Ilya somewhat, and he admitted that the computer really occupies too much of a place in his life.
- Not just big ... This is a real addiction! - Svetlana said, - And I offer you a radical, but very effective means of getting rid of it: we will reduce your time spent at the computer to 1 hour a day.
And then Ilya began to resent and protest. After waiting for him to calm down a bit, Svetlana let him know that the treatment program would not be canceled just because of his disagreement: after all, the computer was bought with mother's money, and the mother has the right to set any restrictions.

Realizing his impotence, the son changed tactics: he began to beg to allow him four, three, or at least two hours a day to be at the computer. But Svetlana was adamant:
- I'm sorry, Ilyusha, but we're not going to bargain. An hour - and not a minute more.
Then the psychologist asked Ilya to let her go to the computer for two minutes to make the necessary settings. Svetlana set an automatic shutdown an hour after the start of work, and also set a password on the computer (after she told it to me). Then she silently turned off the computer, causing Ilya's stormy indignation:
- Wait, that's not fair! You said only two minutes!
- That's right, - Svetlana agreed, - and I kept my word. But I didn't promise that I'd let you go to the computer after that.
She warned that the son must in no way find out the password - otherwise the whole program would be thwarted. Svetlana told me to be strong and not succumb to the pressure of my son - after all, I should be an authority for him - even though he is 21 years old.

Ilya spent the rest of the day without a computer, not wanting to talk to anyone. He just lay on the couch, covering his face with his hands. I reminded myself that I shouldn't feel guilty or feel sorry.

The next day, Svetlana visited us again, asking Ilya, how is his current situation?
- Badly. I have nothing to do, - he gritted through his teeth.
Svetlana praised him for enduring his hardships with dignity, and also asked him not to look at her as an enemy and "an evil aunt who took away his favorite toy."
- But you will look for classes yourself, - said the psychologist, - You are already an adult. I advise you to think carefully about how you will fill your free time that has appeared.

After that, Ilya began a period of "breaking", when he considered everyone enemies and did not want to make contact. Over the next week, Svetlana visited us every day, checking the psychological state of Ilya, and having conversations with him about the need for life changes. The son became sharper, gloomier, he was very upset by the deprivation of the computer, which had been a part of his life for a long time. He often, but unsuccessfully, begged me for a password. Sometimes Ilya said that he needed to do his schoolwork at the computer - I let him do this, but turned off the power as soon as I noticed him having fun. Most of all, Ilya was annoyed by how his computer suddenly turned off at the end of the allotted hour - he continually did not have time to finish playing or watch something.

I was afraid that my son would never be able to come to terms with the loss - however, Svetlana assured me that the main thing was to wait until the end of the “withdrawal” period. And she turned out to be right. Ilya simply had no choice: a month later he took up books, his studies gradually began to improve. He fell in love fiction began to spend more time outdoors with friends.

Six months later, Ilya had a desire to sign up for sports dancing, where he met a girl whom he later married. Over time, he forgot to think about computer entertainment: he uses the computer mainly only for work.

Summing up, I would like to say that this method of getting rid of computer addiction can be called the method of "shock therapy". Of course, it will cause a negative reaction in the child. However, you should not be afraid of tantrums that your child will roll at first. You should be afraid of the harm that it will receive from the endless hours spent on the network. The method of persuasion is usually ineffective (Svetlana warned me about this right away) - after all, any addiction takes root in the human mind.

In connection with the doubts that have arisen among many about the veracity of this story, I would like to make some clarifications.

First: about why the son did not object to the new mode of using the computer. I raised my son alone, without a husband. By nature, Ilya has always been a calm, reserved boy. The cases when he threw tantrums were rare: I instilled in him respect for elders. And at the age of 21, the upbringing given to him did not disappear! Of course, he was outraged by the deprivation of the computer, and I indicated this in the story, albeit not in bright colors. And I don’t understand at all why he had to send obscene language to everyone, expel Svetlana, or leave home ... Such boorish, inadequate behavior simply could not occur to Ilya - even in such a stressful situation. I invited Svetlana to my apartment, and the computer was bought, as already mentioned, with my money - an adult, as many have noted, a 21-year-old son could not help but understand this. I repeat once again: during the “withdrawal” period, there were conflicts with my son, I see no reason to describe them in detail.

Further. Why didn't Ilya get a job to buy his own computer? Before the introduction of the hard regime, he spent all his free time on the network, believing that this could go on forever. He had to spend the free time on his studies, as he realized that the received specialty would provide him with a good job in the future. I don’t see the point of getting a small part-time job at the expense of study time - Ilya didn’t consider this option either.

Regarding the password: I didn’t write it down, but the standard Windows security tools were not used. Svetlana installed a program on Ilya's computer that turned off the computer at a specified time: it was also possible to set the PC's work schedule - when you tried to enter the "forbidden" hour, the computer immediately turned off. The settings of this program were protected by a password.

About using a computer for study. Again, not everyone may have read carefully, but I mentioned that for educational purposes, Ilya's time at the computer was extended, but all attempts to start having fun online were stopped.

And in conclusion, I will emphasize once again that in this matter I am opposed to any indulgence and chatter about the need for an individual approach, the desire to change oneself, and so on. Addiction is a disease (and not everyone understood this yet). It's a virus that just won't go away. Only "surgical", strict measures are applicable here.

Julia

Hello! Dear psychologist, my son is 10 years old. My husband and I cannot wean him off the computer. The fact is that we made a big mistake ourselves allowed to play. Previously, two years ago, he was completely different: he ran, played, rejoiced at something, but now he can play games, not eating for hours, until you make him, all the time some kind of gloomy. Now he doesn’t play for 4 days, his behavior has become unbearable, he hears enough, he does everything out of spite, comes to scandals, throws tantrums, talks very badly with us. Please advise how to wean him before it's too late. Thanks in advance for your reply.

Tatyana Egorova

Good afternoon, Julia!

Such things as television and a computer should always be given to children in dosed and under the strict supervision of parents. As for games, here the position of parents should be doubly tough: strict selection and immediate exclusion of antisocial games, promoting overly detailed three-dimensional gloomy virtual reality with elements of cruelty, bloodshed, sexuality, debauchery and regardless of whether the child has an addiction to them or not.

In your case, the boy has already developed a computer addiction against the background of his passion for games. It is often equated with drug addiction or alcoholism and it will be very difficult to pull your child out of this swamp. Take into account that the son is about to come teenage years and if drastic measures are not taken now, big problems await you in the future.

Why are children so addicted to computer games? After all, it happens that a child occasionally plays without prejudice to his school, home duties ... To understand where this addiction comes from, you need to know what is happening in the soul of a gamer and what reasons prompted him to devote all his time to a toy.

Psychologists have noticed that created by computer games virtual reality very attracts a certain group of people. These include children, adolescents and even adults who are experiencing serious psychological problems in real life. Often they have difficulties in communicating with friends, they feel their loneliness and emptiness in their souls, they are not comfortable with the real world with its real problems that need to be solved, overcoming their timidity, fear. But in games, you can always easily solve problems with the help of forceful methods, and if it didn’t work out, there are always several lives in reserve ... And no one scolds a frail boy.

You know, in children and adolescents who have not been able to find meaning in life, it happens very quickly reorientation to virtual life . The sense of time is lost, one's own problems fade into the background, and in front of them is a world of a few halftones, sometimes creepy but also ... so understandable and attractive. Generally all games some algorithm is artificially set achieving success, i.e. it is not a child who learns to calculate his decisions, plans and actions - a soulless machine does it for him. She programs for certain actions. And unfortunately, the meaning of all these actions is to eliminate opponents (execution, fights, a sea of ​​blood and a creepy-looking goblin that does not contain anything human ... and if guys and girls are in the game, then most often they are dressed provocatively) frightening and aimed at the extermination of the rest of life for the sake of their own goal).

There are, however, other games, but none is as popular as 3D virtual reality with the ability to act as a hero.

The child, getting used to the image, involuntarily obeys the character specific hero. And it is unlikely that you will find in him kindness, participation, sympathy and the desire to help by any means other than violence and weapons. Most games teach that problems can only be solved with rudeness and force. Otherwise, you will simply be kicked out. And all levels of lives are not enough.

And sadly, addiction, constantly fueled by regular games, is reflected in the psyche of the child. He becomes similar to the characters of his games in terms of psychological qualities. Rudeness, intolerance, lack of restraint, disrespect for elders, inability to find a compromise in difficult situations. In the absence of willpower, overall behavior deteriorates. Problems begin in relations with parents, with teachers and peers who do not share this enthusiasm. It is not surprising that the child either withdraws into himself or finds dubious friends who suffer from the same psychological illness - gambling.

So what's now?

Julia, I described in detail the causes of addiction so that you can see in which direction you need to move. Now you have no contact with your son, you have lost this thread that previously connected him with you. Your child is most likely suffering at heart and may realize that he is too addicted to games. But he can't handle his addiction on his own. He needs the active support of his family. Even with his resistance, tears, pleas and assurances that “it won’t happen again, I’ll play at least a little” - the family should support him, but not allow him to play under any conditions and try to switch to other types of activities. Now, while he is 10 years old, it is still possible.

gambling addiction as well as alcohol and drugs cannot be eliminated by limiting time to hobbies. The problem is solved rather harshly - complete exception. You need to remove all games from the computer, all game discs, and possibly the computer itself, if no one except the child uses it. There should be no compromise here.

At first, it will be very difficult for you. An addicted child will misbehave at home, trying to annoy all other family members, trying to find his “drug” from his dubious friends, or disappearing into computer clubs. Just be patient with this period. Be open to communication. say that you understand him well and are doing for his own good. Think about what problems he may have (loneliness, lack of friends, lack of recognition from peers, unpopularity in his environment, etc.) and help the child solve them. Show that you can find a way out of any situation. Raise self-esteem, inspire confidence that he will cope with his difficulties.

Along with the exclusion of games you'll have a good time plan your child's schedule so that he does not have free hours for an empty pastime. It all depends on you, the parents. That's why look for alternative hobbies, think about which section to enroll the child in, inspire for sports exploits, encourage to be courageous. After all, for a boy to be a weakling is nothing more offensive. And all the guys are trying to become stronger. By what methods is another question.

If the computer cannot be removed and it is needed as a working tool for your husband or for you, think about what development programs you can interest your son. Involve him, for example, in web design, find training courses - there is a lot of this stuff on the Web and in stores. Let your son choose something to his liking. And a computer nearby and a favorite thing. Very soon he will enter the taste of a new and useful hobby. Show him what based on some specific computer skills you can make good money. The same web designer, programmer, illustrator, flasher, etc.

Do you still have there is hope to improve the situation. Act now together with your husband and you will save a lot of nerve cells in the future. I sincerely wish you success.

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Digital devices have entered the daily life of mankind so rapidly that it is almost impossible to imagine even one day without them. Even 20 years ago, a computer was a luxury, a mobile phone was an unheard-of miracle, and no one could have imagined what a tablet looks like. Whereas today every home has at least one computer.

Just ten years ago Cell phones could only make calls and send text messages, and were only one per family. Now it is a full-fledged device, a mini-computer with a set of the following functions:

• Calls
• Messages
• Camera
• Video camera
• Navigator
• A toy
• Alarm
• Calculator
• Video player
• Audio player
• Internet access

What a convenient and necessary thing! It's no secret that every person wants to be the owner of such a device that will make his life easier, help or entertain at any moment.

And so, when the number of gadgets in families exceeded the ratio of one to one, and children became their active users, the question arose of how harmful it is and how it affects the child.

Child and computer: "for" and "against"

Disputes about the dangers of computers for children have been going on for a long time. On the one hand, development modern technologies, the ability to navigate the flow of information and a lot of educational games for kids, and on the other hand, planted vision, spoiled posture, nervousness and isolation. Our pros and cons will help to understand and draw conclusions.

So why are digital devices useful, convenient or beneficial for children? Our "for":

• Child development. Entire corporations are working to create developing computer games for kids. They are convenient, do not take up space, are freely available for free and are very popular with kids. Bright colorful characters in the form of a cartoon or interactive game develop memory, logical thinking, attention, imagination and contribute to the formation of creative skills.
• Study at school. Access to the Internet will allow the child to learn how to navigate in a large amount of information, process it, gain new knowledge, develop curiosity and thoroughly prepare for lessons. In the free access, you can find many video tutorials that will help you better master the material and quickly complete your homework.
• Mobile Library. Electronic versions of textbooks will lighten the children's backpack, and the ability to download and read almost any book will allow the child not to waste time looking for works of favorite authors and genres.

It is important to explain to the child that a computer or tablet is designed not only for games, but also for searching for information.

• Useful leisure. All parents know how kids endure a long journey or long lines at the clinic. A computer or tablet will give the opportunity to turn on the child's favorite cartoon and distract from long expectations. It's a near-perfect way to keep kids of all ages busy at just the right time.

However, the media, armed with medical warnings, talk about the terrible harm that computers can do to a child's body and psyche. What does it consist of? Our "against":

• Eyes. If the baby spends at the screen for more than half an hour a day, there is a risk of a decrease in visual acuity - the child's eye muscles are not yet fully formed, they get tired faster, respectively, they overstrain more. Such tension also negatively affects the retina and fundus vessels.

• Spine. The harm of the tablet for children is manifested in the fact that holding it in their hands, the child tilts his head all the time, being in one position for a long time, which can lead to stoop, curvature of the spine, muscle tension. And prolonged tension of the neck muscles causes circulatory disorders, which is fraught with headaches.
• arm muscles. If a child plays his favorite computer game for half an hour and runs to play football, of course, nothing bad will happen. But if the game requires prolonged concentration and arm tension for several hours, in addition to joint pain, this can cause cramps in the hands and forearm.
• Central nervous system . The harm of gadgets to children's health becomes noticeable when a favorite toy begins to take up most of a child's free time, or even the whole day. Complaints of middle-aged children school age For increased fatigue, sleep disturbances, weakness, headaches, doctors associate it with a long pastime at a computer or tablet. Often such children become overly irritable or apathetic, absent-minded, incapable of prolonged concentration of attention, shy.
• Weight problems. When kids and gadgets become the best, or worse, the only possible friends, the child is ready to sacrifice outdoor walks and socializing with friends for any reason. decline motor activity leads to weight gain and lack of physical health. In addition, sitting at the computer for a long time, the child either forgets to eat, which leads to weight loss, or does not notice how much he ate, overeats and, accordingly, gets better.
• Socialization and communication with peers. Currently social networks- this is something without which no student can imagine himself. Textual and visual information, communication with friends, acquaintances - all this attracts young people so much that without the so-called "connection with the world" they simply cannot exist.

Often, actively communicating in the virtual world, in real world teenagers experience difficulties in communication and adaptation to the team.

We tried to weigh the pros and cons of using digital devices by children. But, even taking into account the disadvantages, it is hardly worth categorically forbidding the child's communication with a tablet or computer.

AT modern world it is worth navigating the flow of information and new technologies, the main thing is to know that a measure is needed in everything. Let's try to figure out how to reduce the child's time at the monitor.

How to distract the child from the computer

If parents have a need to distract the child from something, it means that addiction has already formed. The influence of the computer on the psyche of children is so great that it causes an addiction no less than a drug one.

If the child is in front of the monitor or tablet for several hours, he is constantly concentrated. Such concentration is not characteristic of the body, it is possible only for 15-20 minutes. Therefore, there is a nervous and emotional overstrain, causing absent-mindedness, anxiety and depression of the nervous system.

Children different ages react to bans in different ways. Preschool kids throw a tantrum: they take away their favorite toy, limit time, offend accordingly, and he cries from impotence and resentment. This is a signal to parents that it is time to take action.

School-age children, especially teenagers, become isolated, stop talking, harbor resentment and see universal misunderstanding in prohibitions. How to avoid conflicts and try to distract the child with other activities?

Loving parents should understand that this requires effort and effort. To help them, we have collected some ideas on how to spend time without gadgets.

Distract from the tablet: 15 interesting ideas for family entertainment

Try to find areas of creativity or entertainment that will really interest the baby or teenager, and at the same time help you find a common language with the child.

1. Remember the existence of puzzles. For the baby, small cartoon pictures with large details will be interesting. And for an older child, an image with a beautiful landscape, a car or a still life of a large number of details, which after assembly can be placed in a frame and hung on the wall, is suitable.
2. Search the Internet for a recipe for salt dough to play with. The kids love playing with it. You can make a picture or just a figurine, bake it, and then paint it, and decorate the walls of the kitchen, hallway, or give it to your grandmother.
3. Make paper mache with your child. Find a plate or figurine that you can paste over with pieces of paper, let dry and decorate together. Let there be glue residue around, but you will definitely enjoy the process.
4. Try a child in science. Both toddlers and teens love to mix things up. Choose a children's experiment kit in the store or find a couple of simple experiments on the net. The main thing is to follow the safety rules and be sure to tell the child about it.
5. Tell me about collecting. Remember how you yourself collected candy wrappers, calendars and postcards as a child. Offer to think of something to collect: coins from different countries, stickers or labels. Think of a place and systematization for the collection, and you can keep records in a beautiful notebook.
6. Take out the long-bought karaoke system from the mezzanine. Put on a CD with any songs, take a microphone and sing along. Do not be afraid to be funny, joke, indulge, the main thing - be together!
7. Have a family adventure day. Prepare properly and organize the quest. You can hide the sweet in the closet or bury the treasure in the yard, providing the child with a few notes and pointers. Involve all family members in the game. How more interesting tasks you come up with, the less likely it is that the child will remember his favorite tablet.
8. Try to get your child interested in astronomy. Watch out for starry sky, show the constellations you know, teach them to identify, offer to draw a map of the starry sky, talk about life on other planets.
9. Find on the far shelves board games. Children will enjoy playing Monopoly or Lotto with their parents. Play, joke, but don't give in! Children don't like this.
10. Talk to your child about relatives. Children are interested in the names of their great-grandparents, what they looked like. Invite your child to make a family tree - print out photos, draw, glue, try to make it big and branchy.
11. Try writing funny stories. Think back to a game from your childhood where participants take turns writing sentences while answering a series of questions. Read what happened, you will definitely have something to laugh at!
12. Plant a plant with your child, and it is better that he plant it himself under your supervision. Let it be an apple tree near the house or a lemon on the window. The main thing is to take care of it and watch it grow. You can offer to keep a diary, and write down there when the first leaves, fruits, or what seasonal changes happen to it.
13. Learn to make things happen. Wake up your child early in the morning, take a thermos of hot tea and a couple of sandwiches and go to meet the sunrise in the nearest park or even on the balcony. Watch the sun rise, talk and teach your child to smile for a new day.
14. Start a family tradition, like Saturday night tea. Find a new recipe and bake cookies with the kids. Let them cut and sculpt themselves, the more interesting and tastier it will be to try it.
15. Plan a trip for the whole family. It doesn't matter if it's in another country or a neighboring city. Make a route with your child, mark the places you are going to visit on the map and hit the road. Print travel photos, place them in a small album, make funny captions so that the memories will stay with you for a long time.

Of course, all these ideas require certain efforts, imagination and time from parents. But this is the least that can be sacrificed for the sake of children. Often, it would not be superfluous for adults to forget about a tablet or phone, but to get carried away with modeling, drawing, singing, or just chat with a child and remember that there are other interests and values ​​in life.